blank.....

1 year, 1 month...

its something to think about... its wierd.. when you're wired and drilled into your mindset that an AJ relationship is something that cannot last...

I'm a person who's really practical about stuff, and if things can't work out... I'd most likely tell you to the face that it cannot work out...

People are still messaging me and telling me that I'm an idiot to keep continuing even after so many times..

But they don't understand one thing... that is, I love Dominic more then they, you or even he can even imagine...

I'd carry him around if he can't walk,
I'd wipe his tears if he can't touch,
I'd be his eyes if he can't see...

I'm foolish. Yes... "sacrificing for someone who most likely would not do it for you in return"...

I do not know if he would do it for me...

But, I only hope that one day, I'll truly touch his heart... and he will come to appreciate it one day...

1 year and 1 month... many straight couples get married after dating for that long...



my heart is kinda stagnent now..
its hovering between dying and living...

it was struggling to comprehend the future, and it was shattered in June.
it was struggling to trust completely, and it was shattered in October
it was struggling to trust once more, and it was shattered in December...

when will my heart ever heal...

i feel like giving up everything..

but I want to hold on... so tightly...

half my soul is slapping me left and right but the other half is with him....

hurts like hell..



I just want to wake up from this nightmare and realize that I can truly trust him......


"when you lose the trust of a Taurus, it is extremely difficult to gain it back. Because of the stubborn and doubting nature of a Taurus, he will be constantly watchful from then on. The Taurus are pragmatic creatures, (later dates), and look to what they can gain, rather then what they can give. They will only invest in something if they believe that it is worth investing in."

-adapted Little book of astrology by Baxtor R. Jr.